WtR: Day 3: Sex and more of it...
Aloha! Welcome to another WtR day with the focus on S.E.X!
If you are just joining, please check out these posts: 40 Days and Update. We're actually on Day 3, so you really have not missed much, if at all. ;)
You may or may not be coming in on the good part (pun may or may not be intended).
So. I have to be a little honest - I didn't want to write this post. Part of the reluctance is how much do you share? Another part is how much do people really want to know about what's the happenings behind any person's closed doors? And. the last bit of the resistance is how do I want to approach this topic knowing I have my own struggles?
Here's the deal - in my experience, the discussion regarding sex depends on your upbringing and parents' perspective about sex. Sex is either a natural act (think livestock and husbandry), or an expected (discussed and talked about) activity, or is nonexistent (prudish or "only when you're married").
Here's another struggle - slut shaming versus "healthy" sex drive.
And yet another, "don't have sex - you'll get pregnant and ruin your life." Which leads to marriage and then the inevitable question - "When are you going to have children?" How do you expect a person who has been conditioned to fear sex (pregnancy) and then jump into rabbit rabid sex to procreate? When can a man or woman slow down and just enjoy the process and practice of procreation if that is the end goal?
So, sorry if this post is jumping around, but that's the process when I start thinking about sex.
Now, don't get me wrong - sex is great for all of the top ten reasons that Men's Health, Glamor, and whatever the latest studies show. It's great for sleep, your skin complexion, your mental health, and the health of your relationship (committed/married/F.W.B./whatever your heart LEGALLY and ETHICALLY desires...).
It takes a paradigm shift from being a horny teenager into a committed relationship that craves physical intimacy built from emotional and mental intimacy. Sometimes people have that innate knowledge and sometimes it takes a few failed relationships and broken hearts to realize that sex does not equal love.
It also takes a while to learn that while sex is powerful, it should not be wielded like a weapon or withheld like a punishment. It also isn't effective as a band-aid or a balm to an injured relationship. Sure, it helps skin deep, but it doesn't provide the stitches or the antiseptic to cleanse the wound.
Not sure if I have scratched the back of this topic, but it will have to do for now. See - my prudish tendencies are showing themselves, but at least I am talking about it.
The next step is to just have fun with the hubby. ;)
What are your thoughts on the matter?
Cheers to knockin' the socks off your loved one!
L
You may or may not be coming in on the good part (pun may or may not be intended).
So. I have to be a little honest - I didn't want to write this post. Part of the reluctance is how much do you share? Another part is how much do people really want to know about what's the happenings behind any person's closed doors? And. the last bit of the resistance is how do I want to approach this topic knowing I have my own struggles?
Here's the deal - in my experience, the discussion regarding sex depends on your upbringing and parents' perspective about sex. Sex is either a natural act (think livestock and husbandry), or an expected (discussed and talked about) activity, or is nonexistent (prudish or "only when you're married").
Here's another struggle - slut shaming versus "healthy" sex drive.
And yet another, "don't have sex - you'll get pregnant and ruin your life." Which leads to marriage and then the inevitable question - "When are you going to have children?" How do you expect a person who has been conditioned to fear sex (pregnancy) and then jump into rabbit rabid sex to procreate? When can a man or woman slow down and just enjoy the process and practice of procreation if that is the end goal?
So, sorry if this post is jumping around, but that's the process when I start thinking about sex.
Now, don't get me wrong - sex is great for all of the top ten reasons that Men's Health, Glamor, and whatever the latest studies show. It's great for sleep, your skin complexion, your mental health, and the health of your relationship (committed/married/F.W.B./whatever your heart LEGALLY and ETHICALLY desires...).
It takes a paradigm shift from being a horny teenager into a committed relationship that craves physical intimacy built from emotional and mental intimacy. Sometimes people have that innate knowledge and sometimes it takes a few failed relationships and broken hearts to realize that sex does not equal love.
It also takes a while to learn that while sex is powerful, it should not be wielded like a weapon or withheld like a punishment. It also isn't effective as a band-aid or a balm to an injured relationship. Sure, it helps skin deep, but it doesn't provide the stitches or the antiseptic to cleanse the wound.
Not sure if I have scratched the back of this topic, but it will have to do for now. See - my prudish tendencies are showing themselves, but at least I am talking about it.
The next step is to just have fun with the hubby. ;)
What are your thoughts on the matter?
Cheers to knockin' the socks off your loved one!
L
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