Developing Imperfection

I don't know what is going on in the starts, but this week has been full of trials and tribulations - more so than a Six Flags theme park! I'll leave you with a couple of awesome pictures I found somewhere and saved.  Hopefully the meme police won't arrest me for lack of citing their efforts. The "Agh!  F@*$ IT!" Moment at work. The "Oh, I'm sorry that you were an idiot and didn't know what you were asking for"... And, "All right, the gloves are off now!" It's amazing how a good night's sleep and some exercise will make you feel better.  :) Cheers, L

I'm stuck in a black hole for no reason in particular. Source I have a few pressing issues on my mind, but it's really nothing that I can't handle.  I'm just tired of "handling" whatever "it" is at the moment. My dad's birthday was on Monday. Things and leadership at work is unsteady and unpredictable.  (Hey, what else is new, right?) I'm sick.  (Again, no big surprise since I'm burning the wick at all stages of the candle.) My better half is on a road trip and I'm sick and stuck at work.  (I've taken off and he's been in my situation, so I'm not complaining that he's gone - I just wish I was with him).   So as you can see, I'm fighting with myself.  I'm not being authentic or true.  The combination of creating my life into a Scrambler is making me sick.  And, I'm the conductor of the ride.  Who can I blame?   Source Needless to say, I'm looking forward to this evening and Saturda

Source So, this week has been an improvement on the last - to say the least. I wound up actually making an average of three shakes per day and the allotted ounces of water intake from 96-120. I worked out three times this week (better than the zero amount from the previous week). I also started teaching two Adult High School English classes.  I adore my students, but man - did I forget how much work goes into prepping for classes. I'm lucky that the two classes are the same subject matter, but in the next term, I won't be so lucky.  Plus, this will the first time I've taught for this school. This means I will be evaluated. Source Also, the fact that I have to split my time between my regular job AND teaching means a cut in pay for the first month as associate faculty does not get paid in the first month.  It's a delayed payment, but it wasn't expected this month and I am very grateful that I have been saving money and being responsible.  I

Aloha! The week is almost over!  It's been the first week of school for me and it's BUSY! I'm teaching this semester, so things have been hectic.  It's a good thing I love organization, because it has the possibility of becoming overwhelming with assignments, quizzes, and everything else that goes with my regular office job. Source Source At this week's weigh in, I came in at 234.3.  It's down about a pound from last week in spite of many stresses.  My mom broke her ankle in three places - the same three places seven years ago- on Monday!  So, today she goes in for surgery.  :(  Please send good thoughts to the surgeon and the team.  Let them be rested and focused, put in the hardware they need to and take out all of the equipment, gauze, and bandages, and a quick and complete recovery. This weekend is about pampering and helping my mom.  I'll also be running a four mile race to benefit the local firefighter foundation. I'll let

Best Body Fitness http://www.tinareale.com/ Beth's Journey to Thin http://bethsjourney.com/ BodyRock.Tv - Free Workout, Diet and Exercise V... http://www.bodyrock.tv/ Cheaper Than Therapy http://cheaperthantherapy.me/ Confessions of a Chameleon  http://billy-chameleon.blogspot.com/ Fat Girl Wearing Thin http://www.fatgirlwearingthin.com/ Loren Nancarrow http://lorennancarrow.wordpress.com/ My Verbal Vomit http://myverbalvomit.com/ Play At Home Mom LLC http://www.playathomemomllc.com/ Runs for Cookies http://www.runsforcookies.com/ Skinny Minnie Moves http://www.skinnyminniemoves.com/ Success Along the Weigh http://successalongtheweigh.blogspot.com/ The Fitnessista http://fitnessista.com/ The Simple Dietitian http://thesimpledietitian.wordpress.com/ Will Run For Beer http://willrunforbeer.blogspot.com/

Aloha dearies!  I know that if I had any followers...they're probably gone with my lack of posting. ;) For anyone that cares or wants to see how I have been progressing - I have been, but I've also been relapsing.  A few things have happened that I don't really want to share, but I figured I would show some of my progress since the beginning of the year and Optifast. As you can see - I am doing well in 2013.  I have been struggling the past few weeks, but that's okay.  I'm back on the horse and in control of the reins.  In 2012, you can tell that life was literally filled with ups and downs. I'll be back weekly (on Thursdays) to post my accountability on all fronts of what my goals were at the beginning of 2013.  I hope you all are doing well! Cheers! L

Aloha! I'm on Week 13 and have been run over several times by the Optifast wagon.  I've had success with the weight loss (down 35 pounds), but it is a daily struggle with my behavior and routine tasks.  It's hard to give up the typical comforts that I have relied on for so many years, but it has to happen for financial, emotional, and physical reasons. Financially, this program is damaging my savings and debt repayment plans.  For example, I have spent $2405 dollars.  I still have more to lose and more to do... Remember, this program is 20 weeks long for a session.  Sometimes it takes more than one session/term/round to eradicate fat and poor health habits.  All told, I think it will cost another $1,000 to finish this round.  So, if you are considering pursuing Optifast with Kaiser Permanente as a member, you are looking at spending around $3,500.  It's worth the investment, considering the alternative... Emotionally, I'm breaking down with some violent mo

Long time, no blog.  I apologize for this, but things have been a little hectic... However, I'm seeing a little more page views, so does that mean it is people looking at my wee page of the world? The Rock I can only hope! I'm officially on Week 5 of the Optifast experience.  So far, I've lost on average of 5 pounds per week. Emotional Sacks of Flour I think my favorite flour expression is the "tantrum."  :) I'll be back with the activities and journaling exercises that we have been doing - very emotionally draining, but freeing in an oxymoronical way. (yes, I made up that word...) Cheers! (with a glass of water - no alcohol allowed.) L

Source: National Geographic This week has been difficult so far.  Right now, I am fighting the dragons.   I'm fighting with my thoughts.  I'm fighting with my emotions.  I'm fighting with the urge to feed those emotions (literally, not figuratively).  I'm fighting with my colleagues on a project.  And, finally, I'm fighting with my family. But, is it truly "fighting"?  Or, is it establishing boundaries and expectations?  Am I finally identifying what I need for my sanity and health?  Am I finally only accepting responsibilities for what is within my control? Last night was the sixth meeting as a group for Optifast and "Boundaries" was the topic du juor. We talked about physical and emotional boundaries that are put up in positive and negative situations.  The major theme that came bubbling out of the discussion was "fear."  Three main ideas were the fear of disappointing others, the fear of hurting others, and the fear

So, the first and second class were mainly informative and reiteration of the rules. Rules: Make sure to drink at least 96 ounces of water outside of the water used with making the shake.  The goal would be to hit 120 ounces. Be sure to take the potassium pill twice a day - with a shake. Don't take too hot of showers and sit in saunas or spas. The reason for the rules is to prevent heart issues and a dip in blood pressure.  Nothing like having heart palpitations due to dehydration or overheating of the body.... The first week required me to keep a food journal that asked me the following: What time did you eat? Was it a meal or snack? What did you eat? Portion sizes? How hungry were you? Where were you? Who were you with?  What were you doing? What were you thinking while you were eating?  Feelings? What did you learn about your eating habits? The interesting part of the food journal was that I tend to eat in front of my computer at work or at home in

It's Starting! On Monday I had my first group meeting.  After taking a couple of months to do the medical testing and body analysis process, I walked into the Positive Choice Wellness Center in San Diego to pay my weekly group fee and weigh in.  I collect my bag filled with my water and the classroom resources, the notebook "A Way In Guidebook" and the program text book Maximize Your Body Potential: Lifetime Skills for Successful Weight Management (3rd ed.)  by Joyce D. Nash, PhD .  I settled in their wide cushy seats and chatted with another member.  It's the same lady I connected with while waiting to do the body assessment and review my medical tests.  She's done the program before but things have happened in her life and she's back to get on track. At the medical appointment with the PA, I discovered that I AM pre-diabetic now with a risk factor for gout. Both of these medical issues run in my family, both sides of the illustrious genetic tree.  I

Nestle Health Science Yesterday, I visited Kaiser Pemanente's Clairemont Mesa site for an orientation meeting regarding the "full fast" option for the Optifast® VLCD. This diet has a limited caloric intake in order to put the body into ketosis (my laymen's definition - cannibalism).  By doing so, the body still gets the nutrients that it needs, while using fat storage to "power" the body.  So in effect, the body doesn't operate off the ingested shake, it taps into the stored energy, therefore causing weight loss. According to the NHS website, the Optifast ®  VLCD™ program is a nutritionally complete very low calorie diet for the management of people who are obese or severely overweight. To assist with compliance the product range comes in a variety of products including: Milkshakes – Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry and Coffee (Banana coming soon) Desserts - Chocolate and Lemon Crème Soups – Mixed Vegetable and Chicken flavour Bars

Aloha! I've been a little absent due to the three day holiday and generally trying to keep my cantankerous ways to myself.  No sense in bringing anyone else down to my level of funk, but rather recoup and trudge on! So, as a way to escape the doldrums and let loose - my hubby planned a trip to the desert with our quads. The dry desert air evaporated my clouds of depression and left a sunny trace upon my heart. I am every grateful that I married my Scottish warrior. Source I've also signed up for a Virtual 5K organized by Katie at Runs for Cookies .  The link will take you directly to the details and such, but you will still need to sign up on her blog if interested in joining.  She is celebrating her 31st birthday with a 3.1 mile virtual run. So, cheers to Katie and to a better week! L

I've been experiencing a lot of dis-ease and disgruntlement this weekend. You see, I am disappointed and angry just in general. I am upset with friends that are looking at blessings and at gift horses in the mouth. I am upset with friends bragging about their accomplishments. I am upset that my husband would like to be "closer." Why? Because I am unhappy with my life...I feel like I am on the other side of the looking glass staring in.  I don't feel like I am interacting with anyone, that I'm just the observer.  When I found out I was going to have a child, I was excited.  I felt that it was my opportunity to show a new life the "ins and outs" while seeing everyday objects from a new perspective.  I had something to look forward to besides the droll work days and so-so weekends. And then, I miscarry.  I lose the window of "newness."  Instead, I get to bleed for two months straight, lose hair, have acne, spend lots of money of fem

Hmmm.... Rewards for a job well done. Rewards for following through. Rewards for surviving.... Do you make the rewards food oriented or not? I think this depends on your goals and action plans.  For me, I am not making the rewards food oriented.  They are experiential, for example a massage, a pedicure, a new swimsuit, a new pair of shoes, a beer, a travel back to Ireland....  ya get my drift, right? It's late and this feeble brain is done for the day.  Slainte! Cheers, L.

Well, resolutions are: Bargained Broken Forgotten Halfway met; or (Insert operative word/phrase here) I've discovered I do better with focusing on "Objectives."  Objectives have action plans, benchmarks, and deadlines.  They also have contingency plans for "just in case" situations or when outside influences derail and expected outcome. There are a few items that have been on my "To Do List" for a few years.  For example: Finish my wedding quilt. Convert all old pictures, negatives, slides, and movies to a digital format.  Disseminate to the rest of the family and extended family members. Pay off student loans (at least two per year). Clean up credit reports to prepare for purchasing a home. The few I will achieve this year are: Lose 122 pounds to get down to a healthy weight. Participate in a foot race each month (4 5Ks, 8K, 10K 4 obstacle runs, and 2 half marathons) Have "Auntie time" with all of my nieces and n