Creating Boundaries

Source: National Geographic


This week has been difficult so far.  Right now, I am fighting the dragons. 

 I'm fighting with my thoughts.  I'm fighting with my emotions.  I'm fighting with the urge to feed those emotions (literally, not figuratively).  I'm fighting with my colleagues on a project.  And, finally, I'm fighting with my family.

But, is it truly "fighting"?  Or, is it establishing boundaries and expectations?  Am I finally identifying what I need for my sanity and health?  Am I finally only accepting responsibilities for what is within my control?

Last night was the sixth meeting as a group for Optifast and "Boundaries" was the topic du juor. We talked about physical and emotional boundaries that are put up in positive and negative situations.  The major theme that came bubbling out of the discussion was "fear."  Three main ideas were the fear of disappointing others, the fear of hurting others, and the fear of failure.

I'm not an expert, but I'm learning how to establish boundaries effectively, communicate without aggression and anger, and basically understanding my emotions and intentions.

I'll leave you with this poem.  I don't know who the author is, but these lines are worth pondering.  This poem has made it through a few groups for depression, grief, and addiction.

IT IS NEVER MY RESPONSIBILITY TO...

give what I don't want to give
 sacrifice my integrity to anyone
do more than I have time to do
drain my strength for others
listen to unwise counsel
retain an unfair relationship
be anyone but exactly who I am
conform to unreasonable standards
be 100% perfect
follow the crowd
put up with unpleasant people
do something I really cannot do
endure my own negative thoughts
feel guilty toward my inner desires
submit to overbearing conditions
meekly let life pass me by.

My thoughts, prayers, and tears go to the victims of Boston, the hurt and the dead, the emergency responders, and the other participants.

L

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