Developing Imperfection

Aloha, my eight readers! I'm back!  I am sorry for the break in posting, but hey - life happens.  There was an incident last weekend that would have fallen on this day.  Completely in synchronicity with the focus of today - cutting out the crap from the diet that doesn't serve my body well. Last Tuesday, I took a shortcut and decided to get a salad for dinner.  However, I passed said salad place because I was distracted and then it was too late to turn around and still pick up my daughter.  So, I decided to "treat" myself and my mother to a hamburger and fried zucchinis.  My daughter did not partake because she is the smarter one to avoid fast food and stick to her rice cereal, green beans, and eggs... Anyhow, flash forward to Thursday, we are both in wretched condition.  I was sick as a dog all day, she was sick as well - but much more so.  She required going to the hospital for her nausea and sickness, as well as dehydration.  Three ...

Aloha!  Welcome to another WtR day with the focus on S.E.X!  If you are just joining, please check out these posts:  40 Days  and  Update .  We're actually on Day 3, so you really have not missed much, if at all.  ;) You may or may not be coming in on the good part (pun may or may not be intended). So. I have to be a little honest - I didn't want to write this post.  Part of the reluctance is how much do you share? Another part is how much do people really  want to know about what's the happenings behind any person's closed doors?  And. the last bit of the resistance is how do I want to approach this topic knowing I have my own struggles? Here's the deal - in my experience, the discussion regarding sex depends on your upbringing and parents' perspective about sex.  Sex is either a natural act (think livestock and husbandry), or an expected (discussed and talked about) activity, or is nonexistent (prudish or "only when you'...

Aloha!  Welcome to another day with the focus on Exercise.  If you are just joining, please check out these posts: 40 Days , Update , and WtR Day 1 . Most days, exercise is like this: Source: Motivation Required Other days, exercise feels like this: Source: Best Of... Either way, it's something that probably shouldn't be looked at as a chore or an inconvenient necessity. I am currently reading S arah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort of Joy.   Yesterday, it was about "creative movement."  She explained that exercise does not need to be regimented or exhaustive activitiy, i.e.  Crossfit, P90x, HardCorp, or Arnold  Schwarzenegger "Puhump Yu Up" (say it in his accent, you know you wanna ...).  Creative movement is whatever physical activity that imparts joy and a release from all of the crap you are enduring.  Another well-known coach and author,  Chalene Johnson, calls this the "soul" work...

Writing to Refreshment Day 1: Slow to Anger, Quick to Love The inspiration for this focus is based on my own reactions to the world and my frustrations at sometimes not being able to make sense of it all.  It is also a reaction to what's being shared in the news, on social media, and interactions with "real live" people. Here are some of my observations: All of us are either or all of the following: frustrated, anxious, tired, depressed, struggling, and overwhelmed. Most of us are not "in the present." This means being pulled in fifteen different directions all at once physically or in our mind: being able to pay the bills, work situations (co-workers, work load, lack of work, etc.), family (immediate and extended), children, spouse/significant other, friends, social engagement responsibilities, action steps toward a major goal, etc. We are all trying to be everything to everyone at all hours of the day.  The one person that isn't getting his or h...

Aloha, 40 days came and went.  Did I fall down in posting?  Why yes, yes I did. Did I continue to swap out anger and frustration for peace and progress?  Yes....and no. Was I successful in completely eliminating issues? No. Was I successful in being in a more positive head space than not?  Yes. Am I still having issues?  Who isn't? ;) Anger, anxiety, and frustration are still present, but not in the consistent manner.  It does happen in spurts which tells me two things, either I am suppressing my feelings or I am managing the outbursts with some effective tools. I just know this: Life is hard - it's friggin' hard.  Just when you think you have it figured out, it takes a hard left at Albuquerque (Looney Toon fans will love that reference). My self-sabotaging behavior is just as bad as a drug addiction or cutting, I choose to punish myself with food and emotional abuse from myself. I crave and want positive change. I've got a wonderful...

Aloha Adventurers! We're heading to Catalina for a day trip and an exploration of land and sea!  I know this is short notice, but it will be worth it, I promise!  We will be exploring the interior landscape and plunging into the depths to view the sea. The day will start on the Catalina Express from Dana Point, head to Avalon and catch the Catalina Adventures Hummer into the wild. We'll have a pit stop at the DC-3 Grill for breakfast. After returning from the Safari Adventure, we will take a short writing break and lunch.  After our repast, the deep blue will be explored aboard the Nautilus.  Writing prompts and exercises will be shared along the way amongst the authors. One-on-One writing session will be scheduled within two weeks of the event. RSVP and Payment DUE 4/8/2016 10am.  Follow this link to  paypal.me/travelingpen Please check out the menu for DC-3 Grill:  http:// www.catalinadc3.com/pages/ The-Menu.html COST: $ 407 Cost In...

Today I received some pretty disappointing news.  It was news I was expecting, but I was still hopeful.  I will not be able to continue to teach at the local adult high school because I work as a staff member full time and we are in the peak of high value accreditation and grant reporting.  It makes sense and I understand it from a managerial point of view and the effective use of resources, talent, knowledge, and experience. This is just a temporary hiatus and it hopefully means another door is preparing to open. Cheers, L.

Hi All, Long time, no write.  No excuses except adjusting to having a newborn, a family, a husband, a new identity, new....  Well, you get the drift. In light of recent events and my reactions to them, I realize I am losing my joy and replacing it with anger, rage, and resentment. Sadness and regret is now what I am feeling as well as a desire to avoid letting my negative emotions rob me.  I've also used the incidents to allow myself to eat whatever I wanted in whatever quantity.  Now I just don't feel up to snuff because my body can't run on junk. Forty days will be the foundation of writing to a refreshed me.  I don't want to say "a new me," because there are some parts I love and some parts I want to "refresh."  In life, we are lucky to get second chances, but there really is never a new and complete fresh start.  We still carry our baggage, fears, paranoia, joys, habits, ticks, etc. to the "new" place.  I'm attempting an ove...

Yeah. So. How've you been? (crickets...) Source "Anyone out there?" she asks. ----------------------------------------------------------------- It's been a while, hasn't it? Loads of things have changed and yet not changed. I am still married, got pregnant and had a successful birth.  I love my child.  I love my husband.  I don't love my bags under the eyes. I'm still working in higher education but looking to get out.  I am tired of awarding failing grades because the student doesn't fit in the little mold the school wants them to fit.  I hate seeing students that pored over their work, and poured their heart and soul into it, be subjected to such disappointment and no reward/positive outcome for their work. So. I'm starting my own business.  Now, it won't be accredited by any higher learning body, but it will provide the same quality instruction that a traditional student would receive. It's called the ...

I don't know what is going on in the starts, but this week has been full of trials and tribulations - more so than a Six Flags theme park! I'll leave you with a couple of awesome pictures I found somewhere and saved.  Hopefully the meme police won't arrest me for lack of citing their efforts. The "Agh!  F@*$ IT!" Moment at work. The "Oh, I'm sorry that you were an idiot and didn't know what you were asking for"... And, "All right, the gloves are off now!" It's amazing how a good night's sleep and some exercise will make you feel better.  :) Cheers, L

I'm stuck in a black hole for no reason in particular. Source I have a few pressing issues on my mind, but it's really nothing that I can't handle.  I'm just tired of "handling" whatever "it" is at the moment. My dad's birthday was on Monday. Things and leadership at work is unsteady and unpredictable.  (Hey, what else is new, right?) I'm sick.  (Again, no big surprise since I'm burning the wick at all stages of the candle.) My better half is on a road trip and I'm sick and stuck at work.  (I've taken off and he's been in my situation, so I'm not complaining that he's gone - I just wish I was with him).   So as you can see, I'm fighting with myself.  I'm not being authentic or true.  The combination of creating my life into a Scrambler is making me sick.  And, I'm the conductor of the ride.  Who can I blame?   Source Needless to say, I'm looking forward to this evening and Saturda...

Source So, this week has been an improvement on the last - to say the least. I wound up actually making an average of three shakes per day and the allotted ounces of water intake from 96-120. I worked out three times this week (better than the zero amount from the previous week). I also started teaching two Adult High School English classes.  I adore my students, but man - did I forget how much work goes into prepping for classes. I'm lucky that the two classes are the same subject matter, but in the next term, I won't be so lucky.  Plus, this will the first time I've taught for this school. This means I will be evaluated. Source Also, the fact that I have to split my time between my regular job AND teaching means a cut in pay for the first month as associate faculty does not get paid in the first month.  It's a delayed payment, but it wasn't expected this month and I am very grateful that I have been saving money and being responsible.  I ...

Aloha! The week is almost over!  It's been the first week of school for me and it's BUSY! I'm teaching this semester, so things have been hectic.  It's a good thing I love organization, because it has the possibility of becoming overwhelming with assignments, quizzes, and everything else that goes with my regular office job. Source Source At this week's weigh in, I came in at 234.3.  It's down about a pound from last week in spite of many stresses.  My mom broke her ankle in three places - the same three places seven years ago- on Monday!  So, today she goes in for surgery.  :(  Please send good thoughts to the surgeon and the team.  Let them be rested and focused, put in the hardware they need to and take out all of the equipment, gauze, and bandages, and a quick and complete recovery. This weekend is about pampering and helping my mom.  I'll also be running a four mile race to benefit the local firefighter foundation...

Best Body Fitness http://www.tinareale.com/ Beth's Journey to Thin http://bethsjourney.com/ BodyRock.Tv - Free Workout, Diet and Exercise V... http://www.bodyrock.tv/ Cheaper Than Therapy http://cheaperthantherapy.me/ Confessions of a Chameleon  http://billy-chameleon.blogspot.com/ Fat Girl Wearing Thin http://www.fatgirlwearingthin.com/ Loren Nancarrow http://lorennancarrow.wordpress.com/ My Verbal Vomit http://myverbalvomit.com/ Play At Home Mom LLC http://www.playathomemomllc.com/ Runs for Cookies http://www.runsforcookies.com/ Skinny Minnie Moves http://www.skinnyminniemoves.com/ Success Along the Weigh http://successalongtheweigh.blogspot.com/ The Fitnessista http://fitnessista.com/ The Simple Dietitian http://thesimpledietitian.wordpress.com/ Will Run For Beer http://willrunforbeer.blogspot.com/

Aloha dearies!  I know that if I had any followers...they're probably gone with my lack of posting. ;) For anyone that cares or wants to see how I have been progressing - I have been, but I've also been relapsing.  A few things have happened that I don't really want to share, but I figured I would show some of my progress since the beginning of the year and Optifast. As you can see - I am doing well in 2013.  I have been struggling the past few weeks, but that's okay.  I'm back on the horse and in control of the reins.  In 2012, you can tell that life was literally filled with ups and downs. I'll be back weekly (on Thursdays) to post my accountability on all fronts of what my goals were at the beginning of 2013.  I hope you all are doing well! Cheers! L

Aloha! I'm on Week 13 and have been run over several times by the Optifast wagon.  I've had success with the weight loss (down 35 pounds), but it is a daily struggle with my behavior and routine tasks.  It's hard to give up the typical comforts that I have relied on for so many years, but it has to happen for financial, emotional, and physical reasons. Financially, this program is damaging my savings and debt repayment plans.  For example, I have spent $2405 dollars.  I still have more to lose and more to do... Remember, this program is 20 weeks long for a session.  Sometimes it takes more than one session/term/round to eradicate fat and poor health habits.  All told, I think it will cost another $1,000 to finish this round.  So, if you are considering pursuing Optifast with Kaiser Permanente as a member, you are looking at spending around $3,500.  It's worth the investment, considering the alternative... Emotionally, I'm breaking down w...

Long time, no blog.  I apologize for this, but things have been a little hectic... However, I'm seeing a little more page views, so does that mean it is people looking at my wee page of the world? The Rock I can only hope! I'm officially on Week 5 of the Optifast experience.  So far, I've lost on average of 5 pounds per week. Emotional Sacks of Flour I think my favorite flour expression is the "tantrum."  :) I'll be back with the activities and journaling exercises that we have been doing - very emotionally draining, but freeing in an oxymoronical way. (yes, I made up that word...) Cheers! (with a glass of water - no alcohol allowed.) L

Source: National Geographic This week has been difficult so far.  Right now, I am fighting the dragons.   I'm fighting with my thoughts.  I'm fighting with my emotions.  I'm fighting with the urge to feed those emotions (literally, not figuratively).  I'm fighting with my colleagues on a project.  And, finally, I'm fighting with my family. But, is it truly "fighting"?  Or, is it establishing boundaries and expectations?  Am I finally identifying what I need for my sanity and health?  Am I finally only accepting responsibilities for what is within my control? Last night was the sixth meeting as a group for Optifast and "Boundaries" was the topic du juor. We talked about physical and emotional boundaries that are put up in positive and negative situations.  The major theme that came bubbling out of the discussion was "fear."  Three main ideas were the fear of disappointing others, the fear of hurting others, and...

So, the first and second class were mainly informative and reiteration of the rules. Rules: Make sure to drink at least 96 ounces of water outside of the water used with making the shake.  The goal would be to hit 120 ounces. Be sure to take the potassium pill twice a day - with a shake. Don't take too hot of showers and sit in saunas or spas. The reason for the rules is to prevent heart issues and a dip in blood pressure.  Nothing like having heart palpitations due to dehydration or overheating of the body.... The first week required me to keep a food journal that asked me the following: What time did you eat? Was it a meal or snack? What did you eat? Portion sizes? How hungry were you? Where were you? Who were you with?  What were you doing? What were you thinking while you were eating?  Feelings? What did you learn about your eating habits? The interesting part of the food journal was that I tend to eat in front of my computer at work...

It's Starting! On Monday I had my first group meeting.  After taking a couple of months to do the medical testing and body analysis process, I walked into the Positive Choice Wellness Center in San Diego to pay my weekly group fee and weigh in.  I collect my bag filled with my water and the classroom resources, the notebook "A Way In Guidebook" and the program text book Maximize Your Body Potential: Lifetime Skills for Successful Weight Management (3rd ed.)  by Joyce D. Nash, PhD .  I settled in their wide cushy seats and chatted with another member.  It's the same lady I connected with while waiting to do the body assessment and review my medical tests.  She's done the program before but things have happened in her life and she's back to get on track. At the medical appointment with the PA, I discovered that I AM pre-diabetic now with a risk factor for gout. Both of these medical issues run in my family, both sides of the illustrious genetic tree....